A new start

I have attempted blogs before, but they were full-reveal blogs, that therefore made me uneasy to write about things I truly wanted to get out- my fears, worries, frustrations. So this blog will be my attempt to meet others in a similar journey to my own, but with the appropriateness of not giving the names of my loved ones out.
To start- I would like to explain my title choice. I have recently become a mother of a precious baby girl- Sweetpea- through domestic adoption. Sometime, I will write that story out, but for now, I will just say that one way I have felt encouraged in my motherhood, is believing that God chose me to be her mom. It honestly brings me to tears, that he has honored me in this way. To be frank, it still hurts many times when I am around friends, and family who have their birthchildren in their arms, and for some reason, I don't feel as much of a "real mom" around them. I don't know why yet, is it the lack of pregnancy, or because my daughter has another "mom"? It is something I need to work through, and just feels good to even admit that here. But either way, I know I am so blessed that God chose me to be my Sweetpea's mother. I wouldn't want any other baby girl in the world. It has made me realize in a way that maybe non-adopting parents may not, how my child is really first God's and he has entrusted her to my care. I could be wrong about that statement, but I think that may be one blessing of adoption.